Just then, tornado sirens start going off. About a minute later, kids start piling in the bathroom. My ass is still exploding and there's nothing I can do to stop it. The bathroom is now full of at least 50 boys and girls. It smells, it's loud, and everybody in there is pissed. I'm finally done, but I decide to stay in the stall to try and and avoid further embarrassment.
But then a teacher asks me if I'm done, so I tell her yes. She tells me to come out. I walk out with my head down as everybody looked at me with disgust.
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I got hit with this impending urge to poop. It was so bad that I was groaning and running away towards the bathroom. One of my friends decides to shoot me with an air-soft gun as I ran. He nailed me right in the ass, and I shit my pants instantly. I asked the captain if there was a bucket or something I could shit in since we were in a pretty small fishing boat, and he dragged out this really dirty and crusty bucket, then handed me a roll of toilet paper.
So, there I was shitting in a bucket in a boat in front of several family members. Now if that isn't awkward enough, it turns out the bucket apparently had a crack in it. Normally this wouldn't be too much of a problem I guess, but this shit was well It leaked out of the bucket, went all over the boat, and ended up getting all over my pants. For my first tournament, I had to lose two pounds to qualify for my weight class.
My freshman logic led me to take laxatives to shit out the two pounds. I took it before school, but it didn't kick in until the bus ride home.
The ride was a long and gassy one. Each fart was a literal escape of gas and a metaphorical escape of my willpower to hold back the flood. After the bus dropped me off, I sprinted towards my house. Each step I took, I let out a small fart. Sadly, I was only a couple yards away from my house when I let out what I thought was a victory fart. While it was a fart, it was wet, but there was not victory. Suddenly, I have the tummy grumbles. Luckily for me, my house is only 5 minutes away.
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Then, I ripped ass. I had shorts on, so it spilled all down my legs, all over the stairs, up my back. You name it, I had shit on it. My boyfriend hears the large commotion and stands at the top of the stairs to gaze upon the poop massacre. I want to be slaughtered, but thought it could be fine I was covered in shit and tears.
I was complaining but also making fun of him, trying to get him to pause the show and go use the bathroom. Finally, he relented and got up to go. When he was halfway up the stairs, I figured I'd fart a really loud fart to tease him. Karma is a bitch, people. He went to the bathroom and 20 minutes later, he comes back, freaking out, saying the toilet won't flush. It was too big. It wouldn't fit in the hole.
He brought me to the bathroom to show me. It was impossibly thick. I grabbed a bunch of plastic bags and made him scoop it out of the toiled, run outside, and throw it in a ditch.
One day, she was sitting in the bathroom while our mom made the bath. I told her something really funny — so funny that she shit on the floor from laughing so hard. I had told her my stomach didn't feel well, but she left regardless. I was in downtown region of my city, so I figured there were plenty of bathrooms around if I needed to go. I got out of the car, frantically looking for the nearest bathroom, but every place was closed.
Now it was no longer a mission of finding a bathroom, but rather where could I poop without anyone seeing? I start to run towards the nearest alley. Poop was already coming out, streaming down my leg. Just as I approach the alley, it all comes out in an explosion of shame down my legs. I wasn't about to continue wearing my defiled jeans, so I strip down to nothing, use my shirt to clean up the damage, and call my mom to tell her I'm walking home.
I walked 14 blocked, completely naked in my tireless quest to get home unnoticed.
We were headed to our apartment when we got trapped in traffic between two standstill trains. I danced in my seat for awhile before I realized I was not going to be able to hold it. He was the only person awake at his house at around 1 am when he smelled freshly brewed coffee with ginger, only for him to look around the house and find nothing. Netizens also joked about how deceased loved ones make an effort to make their presence felt, but how living people who owe them money do not. Netizen JA Medina talked about how the noises he made from the things he did in the morning would repeat at night, even if he was the only one in his apartment.
Philip Jon Betita recalled the time he lived with his auntie in the Middle East, and he saw a figure of a man in a white shirt and jeans sitting down in a particular spot in the house. Then she said someone committed suicide at the house, and always sat in the same spot wearing a white shirt and jeans. Others made jokes about their responsibilities such as chores and unpaid bills, or their parents disciplining and criticizing them. Other netizens shared darker, more specific stories.
Jerome M Reyes talked about how their office janitor is always the first to come in at around 6 am, but one day the janitor came in to see their boss in front of his computer. The janitor greeted their boss hello, only for him to not respond.
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A few hours later, it was confirmed their boss had died of a heart attack in the office. Netizens also talked about spending their salaries too quickly, and catching their coworkers skipping work or cheating. Netizens shared stories about taking public transportation, and forgetting to bring their earphones or sticking really close to another passenger with body odor. Lastly, netizens joked about current events and certain elected public officials.
These stories made other people. Welcome to Rappler, a social news network where stories inspire community engagement and digitally fuelled actions for social change. Read more. Thank You. View your profile page here OR Click close to continue. I've read the Rappler privacy statement , site use policy , comment moderation policy. Petrol pumps shut down in protest-hit Lebanon over dollar shortage Middle East.
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